What is withdrawal?

It’s “detoxing” from a love interest.


Immediately after a relationship ends, love addiction withdrawal starts. Divorce, a break-up, the end of an affair or merely having been ghosted all bring the same pain. Our senses are on red alert. We feel so bad, we want to run back to “use” our ex like a narcotic.


Generally, we mistake withdrawal as a reason to stay in a relationship, especially a dysfunctional one. The same way nicotine withdrawal affects the body and mind during smoking cessation, break-ups feel HORRIBLE. To avoid feeling such intense loneliness, despair and depression, we delay ending relationships, sometimes for months, years or even decades.


Withdrawal, however, can be healing. The end of a relationship is a chance for us to get a better look at who we really are and what we really want. Getting support from a therapist, support group or coach during withdrawal is great. It helps us to not return to our old habits and partners.


If we are able to NOT call, text, see or talk to our ex, miracles happen. If we stay committed and do the work, those destructive habits, magical thinking and delusions are replaced with self-compassion and purpose.

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